Plan B is the new Plan A
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
