Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
