and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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