i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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