I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
