My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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