It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
