woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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