Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
im on a boat
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