OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
