i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
