If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I love you. Go after that dick
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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