i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
