Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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