Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I am available for nakedness
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
