I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
