I'm drive I can fine osifer
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
