the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
