He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
