oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Damn victory sex feels great
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
