apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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