Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
