I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
