I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
