Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
