We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
