If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
This toilet bowl is my home.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
