you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
