Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
