He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
