there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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