Hey man sorry I got all grabby
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
