Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
