dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my being single is dangerous.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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