I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
