Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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