i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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