Sry I called you an 8
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
