yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
