I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
