Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
