Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
