READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
