do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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