too bad you live with your parents still
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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