Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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