everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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