I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
