did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
