Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
